


This Too Shall Pass

by renaissancefleabag



Series: Guide Me Through The Night, Bring Me Home [1]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I feel for Lilith, My sweet little demon just wants to be loved, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 03:42:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18886483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissancefleabag/pseuds/renaissancefleabag
Summary: “Lilith, don’t hide yourself away from me, ever. You don’t have to suffer in silence."Lilith has nightmares regularly, and she tries to keep it from Zelda.





	This Too Shall Pass

**Author's Note:**

> Was talking in the group chat with some of my MS pals about how Lilith would definitely try to hide her pain, nightmares, and PTSD-related thoughts from Zelda, because she was used to being hurt and used by Lucifer, and she didn't want to burden anyone with her pain. Real angst-fest up ahead in this one folks.
> 
> TW: mentions of violence, verbal abuse, vomit

_What have I become_

_My sweetest friend_

_Everyone I know_

_Goes away in the end_

_“Hurt”, Nine Inch Nails_

* * *

 

It was around two o’clock in the morning when Zelda stirred. She reached out, Lilith’s familiar warmth absent, the sheets cool. She sat up in bed and looked around the darkened room.

“Lilith?” Zelda spoke into the air, the night heavy. She heard nothing but the creak of the house, the sounds of crickets outside. She tossed the covers back and slipped out of bed, her feet automatically sliding into her slippers.

“Lilith?” Zelda whispered again, walking out of their room and down the hall.

_Where is she?_

Sometimes Lilith woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t sleep, but she usually didn’t leave the bedroom. Zelda would wake up often in the middle of the night to find Lilith lying on her side, back turned towards Zelda. She would speak her name, and Lilith would turn over, and gently shush Zelda back to sleep, fingers slipping through auburn hair. Lilith usually stayed tucked into her side though, warm and steady.

Zelda walked down the stairs, looking around the darkened house. She didn’t see any light coming from anywhere.

 _Lilith wouldn’t have gone back to Hell without letting me know, that is unlike her_.

A little trill of fear shot through Zelda as she got to the bottom of the stairs and considered for a split second that someone took Lilith, that perhaps Lucifer had escaped and taken her from her. She tried to calm her breathing as she looked towards the darkened living room, not hearing or seeing anything. Just as she was about to walk into the living room further to look for her missing lover, she heard a noise. Faint, but noticeable. It sounded like someone gasping in pain. Zelda turned towards where she heard the noise coming from, and walked to the front door.

_Is someone outside?_

Zelda kept her hand open at her side, ready to cast a spell if need be. She reached for the front door, and opened it slowly, not wanting to immediately reveal herself to whatever was waiting for her on the other side of the door. When Zelda opened the door, at first she saw nothing. She scanned the front yard quickly, and then her eyes drifted down to the stairs leading from the porch. She saw someone huddled on the steps, halfway down.

_Lilith!_

She recognized the shape of the figure immediately, and rushed over to the stairs, carefully running down to where her girlfriend was. When she got to Lilith, her heart broke, tears immediately rushing to her eyes. Lilith was curled up, knees to her chest, sobbing. Her body was shaking with the force of each sob, pressed up against the side of the stairs. Her hand was over her mouth, trying to keep the sound of her cries quiet, and her hair was draped over her face. Even in the moonlight, Zelda could see the redness of Lilith’s face, her eyes squeezed shut as she continued to cry. She crouched down, looking up at the broken demoness before her.

“Lilith? Lilith??” Zelda’s eyes were wild, scared for the hurting being before her. Her hands moved on their own, gently grasping Lilith’s shoulders, brushing the dark hair away from her face, wiping away her tears.

“What happened? Lilith? Are you hurt?”

The brunette looked up at Zelda, tear-stained hands slowly moving away from her mouth, a look of horror on her face. She shrank away from Zelda, as though she were expecting her to strike her. Zelda looked at the blotchy face of her lover, her blue eyes now red-rimmed and watery, her nose pink, lips wet and swollen.

“No. I-I wasn’t supposed to wake you up. You are supposed to be sleeping.”

“Lilith what’s the matter?” Zelda now moved her hands to cup Lilith’s face, thumbs brushing away the tears that were still leaking out of those wonderfully sad eyes.

“Y-you...you can’t!” Lilith struggled to get the words out, still hiccuping around her receding sobs. Zelda continued to stroke her face, just looking at her in love, patiently waiting. Lilith was reliving the nightmare she had just had. Her eyes squeezed shut, face contorting in pain as her mind replayed the scene. She heard the words Lucifer had said to her, felt his painful touch. The dream wasn’t real, but the things he said were. She knew his insults and remarks all too well. She had to endure them for eons as she cowered in fear, waiting for a physical blow, a kick, a slap. She was used to being Lucifer’s plaything. Even with him gone, she knew that she would still be punished, because she was never happy for long. It was only a matter of time before everything and everyone she loved would be viciously ripped away from her, and she would be left alone, and a little more broken than before.

_How was she back in Lucifer’s clutches again, after everything that happened, after they sent him back to Hell?_

_“You don’t deserve love, Lilith, and no one will ever love you.”_

_But I love Zelda? She loves me?_

_“_ **_No one_ ** _will ever love you. You are incapable of being loved.”_

 _“_ Please. Please don’t hurt her. Please. I will do whatever you say.” Lilith started pleading with a silent foe, Zelda watched with horror. She kept a hold of Lilith, clasping her shoulders, trying to wait out whatever personal hell she was going though. The crying woman shook violently beneath Zelda’s touch.

_Lilith trembled, watching as Lucifer loomed over her. He reached down and wrapped his hand around her neck, squeezing tightly. He began to lift her up, and Lilith felt herself start to choke. As she gagged, eyes wide, the world around her started to grow gray. She had begged, and Lucifer simply laughed, squeezing tighter, the sound of her bones crunching beneath his grip._

_“Pathetic, Lilith, truly.” He released her from his grip, and she crumpled unceremoniously to the floor, gasping, lungs greedy for air. She couldn’t even look up as she rubbed at her neck. She knew he wasn’t done with her just yet._

_“Look at you. You are nothing, Lilith. You belong to_ **_me_** _. Me and me alone.”_

_Lilith covered her face, afraid to even peek between her eyes to see what was coming. Lucifer simply grabbed her by the hair, suddenly pulling her upright._

_“LOOK at me when I am speaking to you.”_

_She couldn’t hide her fear as he forced her to look into his eyes._

_“But Zelda loves me?” her own inner voice seemed to be shrinking, dwindling away to nothing. She was shoved back down again, her face connecting with the ground. Pain vibrated through her skull, and she could feel warm wetness coming from her nose. She cried, clutching at her midsection._

_Nothing. I am nothing. Zelda is going to get tired of me eventually. She doesn’t love me. I am nothing, nothing, nothing._

Lilith was suddenly aware of Zelda there looking at her. Her soft touch, fingers stroking her face, repeatedly asking her if she was okay. She thought of Lucifer, how he treated her, and how he would treat Zelda, if he found out about them.

_I can’t keep Zelda safe. I’m not powerful enough. He is going to come and kill Zelda. My Zelda...I have to keep her safe..._

She panicked, and felt bile rising in her throat. Her heart rate skyrocketed and she wrenched herself out of Zelda’s grasp to the side of the stairs, choking as she emptied her stomach. Barely anything came up, but her stomach still lurched. She thought of Lucifer hurting Zelda and she heaved once more, yielding nothing.

“Shh, shh. It’s okay. Get it all out, it’s okay.” Zelda cooed, gently rubbing her lower back. She felt wrung out, empty, as she laid across the step, face leaning on the rough edge of the wooden staircase. She felt Zelda’s hands on her, one on her chest, holding her up, the other brushing her hair back out of her face. Lilith sobbed a bit more, and Zelda just waited, comforting her. Eventually, she weakly moved to sit upright again, Zelda moving with her. A gentle breeze blew, and goosebumps broke out over her body. Lilith wrapped her arms around herself, looked down at her lap, tears swimming in her vision. Zelda moved to sit a few steps above Lilith, and drew her still shaking form into her lap, leaning over to press kisses in her hair. Lilith was like a child, curling into Zelda’s lap, craving the comfort of her embrace, the closeness of her.

“Talk to me, sweet girl, whenever you’re ready. Take your time.” Zelda encouraged, rubbing circles on Lilith’s back. Lilith turned to rest her cheek on Zelda’s lap, looking out into the night. Zelda looked down and felt her heart clench with love. She brushed some of the dark brown locks behind one of Lilith’s ears, and leaned to place a kiss on her cheek.

“I-I saw him. He was hurting me.” Lilith’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. “He told me I was nothing, that no one would ever love me...and he...he hurt me...just like how he used to.” Her voice cracks, and she sniffles. Zelda leaned over, pulling Lilith closer into her embrace.

“Lilith, my sweet Lilith. You _are_ loved. I love you.” Zelda leaned forward and rested her hair in the brown locks, her own tears soaking into Lilith’s hair. “I love you I love you I love you. _So_ much. I need you to know that.”

Lilith nodded from her spot in Zelda’s lap.

“And you are safe here, Lilith. He cannot hurt you anymore. I would risk my life were he to ever lay a finger on you again. I will never let anything happen to you.” Lilith was crying in response to Zelda’s words, and she started to shiver again.

“It was just so real.” Lilith whispers.

“I know love, I know. It’s going to be okay.”

Lilith continued to shiver, teeth starting to chatter.

“Let’s go inside, hm?” Zelda asks, rubbing her hand up and down Lilith’s arms. The brunette simply nodded, silently. Zelda held onto her lover tightly, as she transferred them back to the bedroom. They ended up on the bed, sitting next to each other, and Zelda moved away from Lilith’s grasp to climb under the covers. Lilith let out a small sad whine at the loss of contact.

“Come here sweetheart.” Zelda opened her arms, outstretched to Lilith. She didn’t have to be told twice. She climbed into the bed, exhausted, and settled down into Zelda’s warm, waiting arms. Zelda slipped her arms around the woman, pulling her to her. In Zelda’s arms, Lilith felt she was safe from everything, including death. She felt like time itself stopped, and she was floating in a cocoon of warmth and security. Lilith felt Zelda start to rub her back, and she nearly _purred_ as she sank into her touch.

“Lilith, don’t hide yourself away from me, ever. You don’t have to suffer in silence. Let me help you, _hold_ you. I want to comfort you when you are scared. I want you to know that I will always be here for you.”

“Okay.” Lilith said weakly, exhaustion taking over. She yawned and nuzzled her nose deeper into Zelda’s chest, breathing in her scent.

“I love you, Lilith. And I always will.”

Lilith drifted off into a peaceful sleep, and all she knew and felt was Zelda. Her presence and touch a balm to her weary soul.


End file.
